go out. count all as loss compared to knowing Christ (phil 3.8). mimic john, when after he had been sent to live alone and die on an abandoned island because of his relentlessness in boasting only about the cross and when he had seen a glimpse of the Kingdom to come, prayed “come then, Lord Jesus” (rev.22.20). but don’t it unless you are willing to endlessly sacrifice for the advancement the Kingdom, being at least willing to go. have the mind of Christ to advance the Kingdom, because its not till the gospel is preached to the corners of the earth that the end (that is, the Beginning) will come (matt. 24.14). then, Christ will reign supreme in the absence of sin and suffering but not before then.

but know that when you do, when you act as john the baptist and declare the coming of the Savior, or yet the return of the Savior, boldly…. or when you live as paul, willing to be put out for the sake of Christ, not fearing death, but telling those who have not heard with tears in his eyes, willing to be cut off from his Beloved for their sake that they may know Life, with great sorrow and unceasing anguish in his heart (romans 9)…. know that they are going to hate you. they will see the Truth as foolishness and will hate you. know that they will deliver you up to tribulation and put you to death and you will be hated by all nations for His name’s sake (matt 24.9). when they persecute you, this will be more opportunity to bear witness (luke 21.13). you must first know, that they will hate you, so that when they do, you will not be surprised or thrown off or tempted to cower like the enemy would have you do.

but take heart! go outside the camp of comfort and bear the reproach he endured (heb. 13.13), suffering for his sake, anxiously anticipating the day he will wipe every tear from your eye (rev 21.14). that day will come, for He who has paid our debt has said it to be true. so take heart, for the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed (rom.8.18). God himself, soon enough, will restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you, after you have suffered a little while (1st peter 5.10). run the good race, and act with great love, for without love you are nothing more than a clanging cymbal (1st corinth 13.1). 

in the end, die like your Savior… endlessly forgiving, crying out to the Father to forgive them for they know not what they do. and enter into rest with him, where he may look upon you and say the heavy words from the One who created, loved, died, sacrificed fully, rose and reigns: well done good and faithful servant (matt 25.21). let those words be your guide. remember, you are nothing but a lump of clay being molded by the potter, yet he breathed new life into you and whispered to you to LIVE (ezekiel 16).

*i’m not trying to suggest with the title “a great commission” that i think this compares with Jesus’ great commission to go and make disciples of all nations in matthew 28.16-20. i just thought it was a clever name.

**FYI, i wrote this to myself so i’d remember what i’m supposed to be doing during my short time on this earth and then i though, maybe it’d be useful for other people too (?). so don’t read it and think, wow she really is bossy and thinks she has her stuff together, cuz that’s the farthest thing from the truth and i’m quite aware of it. i can be kinda bossy, though.

i don’t really know what to say… i promised i’d update this blog while i was here and i have utterly failed to do that.

there’s just so much to say. its just different here.

i sleep at least 8 hours a night. i drink hot tea daily, despite the temperature. its not weird anymore that there are cows on the streets. hotels i once thought were dirty and that i’d never get used to sleeping in are not a big deal. i’ve learned to desipher my way through conversations with people who know only a little more english than i do hindi. i don’t feel like i have to cram a million things into my day and not do any of them well. a city on a hill means something. no matter how distracted i am when being in the Word, i know its all i have.  fellowship is precious, so i’ve learned to see it just as that. its a treat to find someone here who understands my sense of humor well. being on the internet is only as appealing as i make it to be. what made my stomach churn to smell 3 weeks ago, i hardly notice anymore.

i don’t miss home like i thought i would. i realized i can survive without the things i used to count as a necessity.

not everything has changed for the better in my one month of being here, though.

i’ve begun to see people more as faces in a sea than creatures made in the image of my God. people bowing to idols don’t shock me like they did. children begging for food, decorated in worn clothing and old and broken bangles doesn’t move my heart like it should. i notice the red string wrapped around wrists and the orange dot on foreheads of the perishing less and less.

oh Lord, what will you do with this hard-hearted servant?

if i can be honest without offending anyone, i’ll confess i’m dreading coming home. i’ve only been here for a month, so maybe that will change, but as it is the idea of being back to the business of school and work and life bothers me more than i ever thought it would. i miss you who i call family, but i fear that what God has done in my hard heart since being here will be forgotten among the classes and chaos. this is where i want to be. this is what i want to do. i want to spend he rest of my days loving these people, in this place.

oh God, please, don’t let me forget what i’ve seen, what you’ve done, what you’re doing among these people. i don’t want to forget where you’ve brought me from, what you’ve taught me, the high price you paid for my soul.

you shall remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the Lord your God brought you out of there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm.

deut 5.15

hey guys, i have a lot i wanna tell y’all but honestly, im too tired to tpye it all.  im not sure why my font is green and why this is all underlined, but just go with it. so anywho, ill tell y’all a quick story- we got to our city yesterday and within the first hour we met a believer. this is EXTREMELY rare and a total God thing, because there are very very few believers here. anyway, we met him and he invited us over for dinner so we went to his house. it was AWESOME. we ate the best meal i’ve had here yet and sang hymns together! it was super encouraging. this guy’s legit too, he’s been to all the places we’re going. he said he’s been beaten twice already for sharing his faith. its just crazy how different life on this side of the planet is.

anyway, (oh, the green and underlined disappeared… nice) im gonna jet cuz im really tired. but thanks for your prayers. i miss y’all and can’t wait to tell you this stuff in person.

also, i don’t know if i already mentioned this, but i sang kareoke in an indian pub the other night.

jeremiah 17: 5- 8

Thus says the LORD:

cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the LORD. he s like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see any good come. he shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land.

Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD. he is like a tree planted by water that sends out its roots by the steam, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of the drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.

God says to his people, you are CURSED if you trust in man or in the flesh of his strength… you will see destruction. you will be like a shrub in a hot dry desert, with no water in sight. you shall see no good. you will dwell in the dry places in the wilderness. you, shrub that survives on water and sunlight, will be living in a land of salt, that will ultimately dehydrate and kill you.

then he says to his people you are BLESSED if you trust in me, your loving God and Savior who has been continually faithful to you when you didn’t deserve it and patient with you and has shown you grace upon grace because i am a good God. trust in me. you’ll be like a tree. with roots that extend to the streams. when calamity comes, you will not have fear because your leaves will remain green. when the year of the drought comes, you wont be anxious about where you will get water or how your needs will be met. you will not even cease to bear fruit. i have provided before and i will continue to provide. you are blessed.

so, knowing this about God and seeing that he is continually faithful and has rescued me from the dominion of darkness, why is it that i continually trust in myself and my strength and my timing? why do we do this? every single day, instead of taking leaps of faith, i stay on the land that i know is safe and secure. imagine if every time God provided me with an opportunity to trust him and not myself, strengthen my faith, leave my life of shrubbery and join with him producing fruit, i took the opportunity.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JHS8adO3hM&feature=player_embedded

i ran across that on paasta (pastor) willis’ (aka, dustin willis) blog and i thought it was pretty stinking interesting.

this comedian’s an atheist and he has pretty strong feelings about Christians not telling non-believers about Jesus. 

“how much do you have to hate some body to believe that everlasting life was possible and not tell them about it?”

1st corinthians 15:1-4

now i would remind you, brothers, of the gospel i preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word i preached to you — unless you believed in vain. for i delieved to you as of first importance what i also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordances with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures…

romans 7:24-25

wretched man that i am! who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

isaiah 53:5-6

but he was wounded for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. all we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned everyone to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

When darkness seems to hide His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh may I then in Him be found.
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

“sing aloud!…

rejoice and exult with all your heart!

the Lord has taken away the judgement against you; he has cleared away your enemies. the King of Israel is in your midst…”

“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”

-zeph. 3:14-15; 17

God has chosen us and loves us. he REJOICES over us. he has cleared the great amount of iniquities that stood against us and is now exulting over us with LOUD SINGING! oh, to hear the voice of the Lord!

Father, I beg that you’d let our souls know the weight of that. that we had a mighty debt paid for. Lord, you’ve forgiven us in the middle of our sin. we’re so unworthy. i fear that we grow hard to what you’ve done so easily. help us to see the price you paid to love us, because you love us. help us to know what great price you paid for our freedom! help us to know that freedom, if we have received it. draw those who have read this but don’t know you, into yourself. show them that they too, can have the King in their midst! the God of Israel, who created them, can dwell with them. Lord, we don’t deserve you. thank you for your great mercy and forgiveness. i pray my heart would dance to your singing over me all day long and i wouldn’t forget what you have done for me. amen.

i tried Lord
i tried Lord
i tried hard to be Your good little boy
chin up, head high
all zeal and no joy
thinking all my good deeds could please Jesus
boy, was I wrong
though I knew the right songs, all my cymbals and gongs played the melodies wrong
and it wasn’t long ‘til I saw my disease
a life spent wanting to please
on hands and knees
to make right, to appease
God help me please
this can’t be christianity, it can’t be
the whole thing’s like insanity
where’s the rest of eternal security?
where’s the hope of a God big enough to cope with all my hang ups and insecurities?
certainly this isn’t breathing
my chest burning and heaving
it’s like my pulse is ceasing
like my heart quits beating
yet this i recall to mind and therefore i have hope:
You died, Lord.
You died, Lord.
assuredly, like the coming of the dawn, the Father’s love song goes on
drowning out my bitter songs
and breaking through walls and barriers
Christ swoops in, removes sin, picks up His bride and carries her
so I can sing in agreement with the King this thing:
there’s only one thing that pleases the Father
the God-man on the tree in the midst of the scoffers
now i finally see that Christ is what Christ offers
and I’m finally free in the love of the Father

-jimmy needham

i stumbled across a blog i had in high school today… needless to say i was really, really, really embarrassed at what i saw. if you happen to find it, please read with discression… knowing that before i was a believer, i was really really against it and spoke my mind. i was also moody and hormonal. the last couple of posts, though, are worth reading. they’re from my early days as a believer– well, that’s not true. my early days as a believer who was finally starting to understand and not just believe (james 2:19), but follow. as i said, before i was a believer i was hard pressed against it. i thought christians were dumb, despite the fact that all my friends were, and i thought they pressed their ideals on everyone else shamelessly. my mind couldn’t make sense of the idea that a God existed. for some reason it was easier to find faith in nothing, than to find faith in this idea that seemed fairy-tailish. in the tenth grade God graciously interceded and saved my soul in the middle of the street, late one night, with some friends. i didn’t really understand what that meant– i just for the first time, believed that a God exisisted and that it was the God of the Bible. then when i was young in my faith, i started dating someone who wasn’t a believer (but had close to it morals, so i thought this was good enough). needless to say, the little bit of “faith” i’d developed began to quickly plummit. BUT, because He had implanted His spirit in me and graciously works out my salvation for me, God called me back to Himself time and time again. sadly, though, i thought the death i was experiencing (living in sin and separation with my maker) was better than the life i could experience (living with God, the loving Father of redemption). satan, the father of lies, deceived, and i, a daughter of Christ, fell for it. God is so good, though. He took this kid i was dating out of my life completely and brought me back to Himself. it was the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me. i thought that the day i would have that boy to cling to no more, would be the worst day of my life. i thought God would be expelling His wrath upon me that day, and i was going to finally face the penalty of ignoring Him for a year and a half. I thought i had sinned too much and that i was going to be facing the long road of working till God would forgive me again.i thought i was going to have to come face to face with my God and my sin and face the guilt of ignoring and disobeying God all this time.

it wasn’t that way at all. i had gotten my savior all wrong. God graciously picked me up, wiped me off and whispered to me that day that i was finally free. there was no guilt. there was no shame that day. it was all sweet whispers from the Father who saves souls, to the daughter He loves. i can’t tell you what that was like, to be expecting guilt and to be given grace all the more.

anyway, all that to say, after reading my old blog i saw this quote on it from a sufjan stevens song that i used to listen to on repeat (i’ve always had the dirty habit of doing that– listening to a song on repeat until i can’t stand it anymore. my sister does it too, so i figure its normal). i really like it, even if i don’t know how theologically i agree with it. i really like what sufjan stevens is saying. my God went on a tree and saved me from myself. i was His enemy and lived and loved like it. He loved me too much, though, to let me destroy myself.

You gave Your body to the lonely.

they took Your clothes.

You gave up a wife and a family.

You gave Your goals.

to be alone with me,

to be alone with me.

to be alone with me,

You went up on a tree.